sweetabsence
Four Years, Saturday
7-2-07 || 10:37pm || Mood:
Ive been with Marc for 4 years, Saturday... and no one can possibly fathom how excited it makes me that we have been together for this long. My heart goes pitter patter at the thought. =) Oh yeah.
We had dinner at Timberlodge and the went to see Ratatouille, which was cute because our first day was Finding Nemo. The thing is it felt like a normal night to me. Dinner at a normal restaurant and a movie is something we do a lot of. In the past we got dressed up and go to a decent restaurant and make it special. Marc came home from work and was spralled out on the couch watching tv and waiting for me to get there. He didnt even change. I know he is already dressed up but he could have made an effort to seem like he wasnt about to go to sleep. =(
I spent the whole day getting ready. I returned a skirt to old navy, figured out what shoes I to wear, dug some black dressy capris from my closet, did laundry, figured out what kind of underwear to wear (which is important on Anniversery's because anniversery's = sex ;) lol). I drove to Maple Grove to buy sticker letters from Archivers that would perectly match the paper I made Marc's annual Anniversery card with. Came home and showered and curled my hair and made myself pretty. Then drove to his house without air conditioning, mind you, hoping my make up wouldnt melt off my face. lol *sighs* Yep.
On our way to Timberlodge, Marc had nasty smelling new tires in the backseat of his car on the way to Timberlodge and of course I complained. lol We got into a little argument, where he told me that I dont appreciate anything anyone does for me... which is probably the most hurtful thing he has ever said to me because he knows that it is so untrue.
I also told him I was disappointed that he didnt get my flowers... which I later explained to him that it wasnt even about getting flowers. Its about showing appreciation for someone that you've been with for 4 years. My heart would have melted 10 times as much if he colored me a card with a pack of crayolas than getting some flowers. I can save the card, flowers die. I just wanted to feel like he gave a fuck that we've been together for as long as we have. I wanted some romance damn it... and I would have felt just really special if I knew that he took the time to think about me and create something from that. Just a freakin' piece of paper that is folded in half and said Happy Anniversery! =(
When someone I love tells me something negative like, "You dont appreciate things people do for you" I take it into heart and reflect because I start to believe it. I might sound like a brat in this entry. Perhaps I should appreciate that he took me out to dinner (I paid for our movie) and we spent the day together. I know he worked all day but I know he could have did something earlier in the week or even on his lunch break. It took me 2 days to do his card for him. I guess I just wanted the effort to be reflected back...
When we got bck to his house he pretty much fell asleep and no sex went down. Thats right, you heard me. NONE! He didnt even look at the card I made him until the next day. I went upstairs to vent in a entry but I couldnt bring myself to the words. I crawled into bed beside him and cried. He sleeply appolized and held me until I feel asleep. I woke up with hurting swollen eyes and he finally looked at the stupid card (when he woke up and we were still laying in bed) and loved it.
We talked about it Sunday morning and I felt better about it. I thought maybe I overreacted. Am I selfish? I dont know anymore. I had a good Sunday with him. He admitted that he wasnt as prepared as he could have been... and I guess if I can get that out of his stubborn ass, I can call myself lucky. I have been reiterating all of this over the past few days, allowing it all to sink in. Perhaps this was just another lecture, where he tunes me out. =(